Afternoon Tea - Etiquette Expert Advice
Etiquette Expert - Are you ready for Afternoon Tea?
You may be getting together with family and friends this Easter holiday and perhaps even for afternoon tea - the perfect opportunity to dress up and indulge in some good company.. We have compiled a guide on the Dos and Don'ts of etiquette for afternoon tea.
Afternoon Tea is one of those quintessential British customs, cherished and enjoyed by many. William Hanson, renowned etiquette expert, has provided his rules of hosting or attending afternoon tea.
Guidance
First and foremost, you should be clear about the following: afternoon tea is not the same as high tea. Many, wrongly, call sandwiches and scones ‘high tea’ as they think this sounds grander than just ‘tea’. This is very wrong.
High tea was what servants of a large house ate at around 6pm, after the upstairs had been given their (afternoon) tea.
On the menu were things like large joints of meat (often a roasted ham), slices of thick bread, potted shrimps, a big cake to share, and ale. It was eaten at a proper table, rather than a lower, coffee table, and so it became known in the servants’ hall as ‘high tea’.
A typical, traditional English Afternoon Tea menu involves an array of crustless sandwiches, followed by scones with clotted cream and jam, plus a selection of additional sweet cakes and pastries, all washed down with Britain's favourite beverage, tea.
Traditional Etiquette:
Always greet your guests or host with a firm handshake.
Once sat, place your handbag or clutch on your lap, or for more convenience, place it behind you resting against the chair. This will also stop you from slouching.
When the host announces it’s time to begin your Afternoon Tea, take your napkin, unfold it and place it on your lap. However, if you must leave the table for any reason, fold it neatly and place it on your chair. Never leave it on the table; you will ruin the beauty of the place settings and features that you or the host has spent hours preparing.
If you take sugar in your tea then this must be placed into the cup first.
For those of you drinking Earl Grey the traditional way, place a thin slice of lemon into the cup first. You can place sugar and lemon together in the cup but not the milk.
Milk is added to the tea after you have added your tea, sugar and/or lemon (this is a preference though)
When stirring your tea, make sure your spoon doesn’t touch the sides of the cup and when you’ve finished, place it behind the cup on the saucer – never leave the spoon in the cup
You must hold your cup in the correct way; never grasp your cup with both hands, you must always use the delicate handle provided. There are many debates about the ‘pinky finger’ and how it should sit when drinking tea. Some may say you must stick your little finger out, however, many etiquette experts frown upon extending the pinky finger while drinking and deem it a sign of pretentiousness
The correct order to eat the traditional Afternoon Tea is to eat the sandwiches and savouries first, then move onto the scones, ending on the sweets.
There are many traditions and superstitions about the way you should eat your scones. The Cornish believe you should cut the scone in half, cover it in jam then add clotted cream. The Devonshire folk believe you should cut the scone in half, cover it in clotted cream first then add a teaspoon of jam. These are the traditions they have set in place, there is no right or wrong. Try both and see what you prefer!
How to present yourself
First things first, before you even sit down to enjoy a delectable Afternoon Tea it is likely that you will be wondering about the dress code for what seems such a formal occasion. Most venues have a relaxed 'smart casual' dress code these days, so there is no need for men to wear a jacket and tie (unless otherwise specified) - trousers or smart jeans, collared shirt and clean/un-scuffed shoes are acceptable. No sportswear or trainers (sneakers). For the ladies it's the perfect excuse to get dressed up! Embrace spring coloured clothing and accessories.
Conversation
William Hanson, renowned etiquette expert, has shared a number of ideas for conversations during afternoon tea.
Hanson covered the do’s and don’ts of conversing, starting with the following statement - “You can comment on someone’s accent and say it is interesting, but I would not say anything derogatory. I would tend not to make conversation about anyone.” This highlights the importance of maintaining an orderly, non-offensive conversation during afternoon tea. You should refrain from discussing anything which could cause tension.
The etiquette expert also states that attendees should avoid discussing “Money, sex, religion, and politics.” Asking what someone does for a living is also not really the done thing these days.
Conversation starters permitted by William Hanson consist of: Small talk, as it is the best ice-breaker and, at an afternoon tea or dining with people, Hanson would recommend asking about travel and holidays, sport and culture to find common ground.
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